Here’s why you might decide to do the same.

When you update your LinkedIn profile with your job and effectively tag your employer by doing so, you’re endorsing them.

Here’s the thing: When you join a new company, you don’t know if their mission is pure or if they are the real deal. You could have done all the research and then still discover that the company is not what it seems from the outside.

Updating your LinkedIn profile is giving a company the thumbs up and you may not be ready to do that just yet or feel it’s your duty.

Most employment laws around the world these days allows for a six month probation period. When you update your LinkedIn profile, you don’t know if you’ll still be at the company in six months. For all you know, you will part ways with your employer.

Updating your LinkedIn profile means that if you fail, it’s going to come up in your career history on LinkedIn.

For me personally, I don’t care and am happy to show people my career failures and setbacks (I’ve made a career out of it). But for some of you, you may not want the whole world knowing if you don’t make it through probation, our you have made the better decision to move on.

Your LinkedIn profile tells someone a lot about you. For me, I don’t want to confuse people by trying to be too many things to too many people.

I have chosen (for now) to make my LinkedIn profile about my career only and not have any connection to my day job. This allows people to discover who I am and not the sales version of  Mark that you see during business hours.

Many of you have a typical career and work that you do outside of your normal job. Perhaps you might want to highlight that work instead rather than your employer. The choice is yours.

LinkedIn used to be a resume platform and that has changed a lot. The days of people clicking your profile to see your online resume are long gone. Your profile is still looked at, but just not as much as you think.

If you’re updating your LinkedIn profile like your career depends on it, it doesn’t matter — not anymore, anyway.

In some areas of my life, I like to be private (you might be the same).

The career situation this year has been a tough one for me and having my LinkedIn profile updated can cause people to treat my circumstances like a reality TV show waiting for the next episode.

It’s nice to know that not everyone knows what I’m up to in my career.

Now that my LinkedIn profile is solely focused on my  career and accomplishments, it makes the clients I deal with curious.

When they look me up on LinkedIn, they see a different person to one they interact with. There’s this whole other side that they get to discover you are through direct contact, rather than a cliff notes version of what you are about.,

Using your LinkedIn profile to promote your hobby or side-hustle can help your clients see a different side of you.

Just because everybody tells you to update your LinkedIn profile like it’s some trophy-winning contest, it doesn’t mean you should or you must.

Learning to sit back sometimes and take no action to see what transpires is an interesting activity. In my case, holding back from updating my LinkedIn profile led me to the realization that I’m not going to update it at all.

Your LinkedIn profile is owned by you and you can use it how you see fit, to make your goals in life come true and perhaps inspire a few people in the process who can learn from you.  You don’t have to update your LinkedIn profile.

the majority of this article was Written by

Viral Blogger – Inspiring the world through Personal Development and Entrepreneurship.

Luis Borges wrote, “is the substance I am made of… a river which sweeps me along, but I am the river; it is a tiger which destroys me, but I am the tiger; it is a fire which consumes me, but I am the fire. The world, unfortunately, is real; I, unfortunately, am Borges.”

Zat Rana

The process of maturity occurs differently for each individual. For some, sheer diversity in experience slowly begins to change their intuitions about who they are and that changes how they see their body and thus their sense of self. For others, books and abstractions alter the way reality is perceived and thus how the body and the self are viewed and lived with. For a few yet, it’s therapy and conversation and a combination of experience and abstractions that get them there. Even within, say, different therapy practices, there are various ways of getting to the same end. Psychoanalysis is different from behavioral therapy which is different from humanistic therapy which is different from cognitive therapy, but they all have their strengths, and they can all be effective.

Being human is a difficult task, and it doesn’t come with a universal manual that just anyone can follow. There are patterns to our collective experiences, and these patterns can tell us a lot about ourselves, but they’re not enough. That said, at the core of it all, all we are dealing with is a simple statement followed by an even simpler question.

You are here, right now. What are you going to do about it?

Medium Article in whole

Remember back when you were in school, and your teacher would announce that a new group project was being assigned? If your classrooms were anything like mine, you recall hearing a collective groan echo from chalkboard to chalkboard.

This post originally appeared on The Muse.

Confession time: I was probably the one groaning and complaining the loudest. But, it was likely for a different reason than most of my classmates. My peers were disheartened to hear that even more work was being tossed on their plates. Me? I wasn’t so upset about the new assignment. Rather, I was more discouraged that I was going to have to work in a group, when I’d honestly rather just do the entire thing myself.

That probably makes me sound like a pretty terrible person, and an even worse colleague—I get that. But, it doesn’t change the facts: I’m a total control freak. I feel this undeniable urge to have the final say on every last detail—no matter how small.

There’s only one problem: This approach simply isn’t maintainable (or advisable, really) in a work environment. When you need to effectively collaborate and communicate with your co-workers, behaving like this really gets in the way.

As much as I love being in charge, I don’t want to become known as that teammate who’s a total steamroller. So, needless to say, throughout my years I’ve managed to identify a few strategies that’ve allowed me to loosen the reins and transform myself into a little more of a team player.

Give these four tips a try, and you’re sure to improve the way you work with your co-workers (even if your inner control freak is screaming all the while).

1. Recognize Your Weaknesses

If you’re thinking that this seems like an incredibly discouraging first point, I can’t blame you. However, taking some time to identify those things that you aren’t so great at can be incredibly helpful in relaxing your grip on every last piece of a project.

When you crave control, it’s your nature to want to handle everything—regardless of whether or not you’re the best one for the job. As bad as it sounds, you’d rather have it within your own grasp than have to trust someone else to get it done.

This is why recognizing your weaknesses can be so effective: You’ll have a much easier time delegating or releasing those things that you already know aren’t your forte. There’s no greater sense of comfort than knowing that spreadsheet is in the hands of your office’s resident Excel whiz or that the pickiest proofreader in your entire company is taking the final look through that report.

2. Be Open and Honest

There’s nothing worse than a control freak who repeatedly chants, “I’m not a control freak!” Listen, you like to be in charge—and, sometimes there’s nothing wrong with that. But, refusing to own up to your true colors won’t do you any favors. In fact, it will likely just irritate your team even more.

The best thing you can do? Own up to the fact that you like to take charge right from the get-go. Doing so will boot that big, pink elephant out of the room right away, and nip those hushed whispers and annoyed remarks from your co-workers in the bud.

However, simply admitting that you can be on the pushier side isn’t quite enough. Take this piece of advice one step further by enlisting an accountability partner on your team. You should explicitly instruct this person to give you a heads up and pull you back down to earth when you’re crossing the line from organized to obsessive. Having him or her keep you in check when you start to get a little too demanding will save you from snowballing into a full-on dictator.

3. Discuss, Don’t Demand

If you asked two different people to make you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I’m willing to bet they both wouldn’t go about it the same way. Maybe one would slather peanut butter on one slice of bread, and then jelly directly on top of it. Perhaps the other would coat one slice in peanut butter, the other in jelly, and then smoosh them together.

This isn’t a lecture on the art of sandwich making (and—let’s face it—it is an art), but the point is this: Even though those people had two very different ways of making their classic PB&J, they still ended up with the same sandwich.

There’s more than one way to do anything. That doesn’t necessarily mean that one method is right and the other is wrong—they’re simply different. And, unfortunately, that ideology is much too easy to lose sight of when you’re gritting your teeth at the thought of not maintaining every ounce of control by doing things your way.

So, before storming in with your “my way or the highway” approach, make sure that you zip your lips and take some time to listen. You should even ask questions, rather than doling out strict demands and instructions. You might be surprised by the thoughtful ideas and suggestions that come to the surface.

No, this might not come easily when you’re a natural-born control freak. But, as the old adage goes, we have two ears and one mouth for a reason.

4. Find Helpful Ways to Control

Alright, just because you can’t clear everybody else out of the way and charge full steam ahead on your own doesn’t mean you can’t be responsible for anything. You are definitely still entitled to contribute to the project or objective with your thoughts and your efforts. Nobody’s saying that being a team player means being completely hands off.

The key here is to channel your “my way or the highway” tendencies into things that your team will actually appreciate. Perhaps that’s by creating a detailed timeline for the entire project. Or, maybe you’re the best one to lead your regular team meetings to get status updates.  There’s a big difference between keeping everybody on track and keeping everybody under your thumb—and there are definitely times you can grab the reins and provide direction, without coming off as unbearably bossy. Find some different things that would actually help your team and put those on your own plate. You’ll be a valuable team member, while still satisfying that inner control freak.

I’ll be the first to admit that I love being in charge, and that can often make it difficult for me to be perceived as a true team player. Luckily, these four tips have helped me to squelch my control freak tendencies (at least a little bit) and be an all-around better collaborator. Give them a try for yourself—I’m sure your teammates will appreciate it!  The Control Freak’s Guide to Being a Team Player (Because This Isn’t a High School

In the face of setbacks, some people seem to fall apart, while others find ways to move forward and continue to get things done. Are there things you can do to be resilient?

Fast Company |

Art Markman

Bad things happen both personally and professionally. Relationships end. Significant others get sick or die. Promotions are given to someone else. Clients leave. Companies go through rounds of layoffs.

In the face of these setbacks, some people seem to fall apart, while others find ways to move forward and continue to get things done. Are there things you can do to be resilient?

The answer to this question is yes—to a point.

First, bear in mind that resilience does not mean ignoring the negative feelings that come along with a tough time. Significant personal or professional losses will lead to feelings of sadness and disappointment. It is natural to grieve about these losses and it is important to give yourself some time and space to do so. You are not obliged to go through all five stages of grief, but you shouldn’t feel guilty if you do experience sadness or anger before you come to accept what has happened.

Second, people seem to have a happiness set point. Generally speaking in the weeks and months after a significant positive or negative life event, you tend to return to roughly the level of happiness you had before that event. That doesn’t mean that events can’t have a long-term influence on how happy you are, just that the best predictor of how happy you will be several months after a big positive or negative event is how happy you were before it.

Third, there are times when negative feelings are the best way forward from a negative event. In particular, stress and anxiety are the natural reaction to a threat in the environment. If there really is a calamity out there that you are trying to ward off, anxiety might be the right response.

One thing that happens when you are anxious is that you tend to ruminate over the cause of the anxiety. Rumination is a repeated cycle of thoughts. If there is a potential threat, then thinking it through carefully may allow you to develop a plan to move forward that will help you to handle the situation. It may not be enjoyable to experience this level of stress, but it still may be useful.

That said, there are several things you can do to help cope with the bad times.

Understand What You Can Control and What You Can’t

The first is to be clear about what factors are under your control. Quite a bit of work shows that when times are bad, people are more resilient when they focus on things they can do to move forward rather than focusing on the ways that circumstances have conspired to put them in a bind. Focus on actions you can take that will make your situation better. As you engage in those actions, you will find that you feel better about your work and will also be more productive.

Surround Yourself With People Even If You Don’t Feel Like It

Next, engage with other people. When you are sad or stressed, you often don’t want to be around others. But there are several advantages to social engagement. When you talk about what is making you sad or anxious, you often find that other people have had similar experiences that they can share. Sadness can make you feel as though your own situation is unique, so knowing you are not the only one going through something can be valuable. In addition, social connection is motivating and can help you to focus on tasks that need to be done.

Look For An Easy Win

When you experience a loss in one aspect of your life, it can make you focus on the negatives across all of the facets of your existence. That is not a good time to embark on a long project that may not succeed. Instead, find something in your work life that you can complete quickly and successfully. That way, you can remind yourself that a significant setback is not a sign that you are cursed.

Give Everyone the Benefit of the Doubt

Finally, go out of your way to give a positive interpretation of the actions of others. When you are angry about something at work, you tend to find reasons why other people are an obstacle to your success. This is particularly true when you are passed over for something you wanted. Recognize that most people you work with are potential allies. Just because someone was not able to give you something you wanted does not mean that everyone is out to get you.

When you think negative thoughts about other people, you can create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Your negative thoughts will influence the interpretation you give to their actions that can cause you to interact with them anger or mistrust. They will notice your attitude and treat you accordingly. Similarly, when you interpret the actions of other people positively, you are more likely to create good interactions with others.

These strategies will help you to minimize the influence of bad events on your life. They will also help you feel better, because each success you have will boost your attitude toward the future.

Art Markman, PhD is a professor of Psychology and Marketing at the University of Texas at Austin and Founding Director of the Program in the Human Dimensions of Organizations. Art is the author of Smart Thinking and Habits of Leadership, Smart Change, Brain Briefs, and, most recently, Bring Your Brain to Work.

Time to get rid of the small talk.

By Marcel SchwantesFounder and Chief Human Officer, Leadership From the Core@MarcelSchwantes

Tired of showing up to those networking events or cocktail parties because your brain has already decided it’s going to be a drag being asked the same dumb questions and exchanging fake smiles?

To reinvent your networking routine so that others are attracted to you like flies to a sticky trap, stop showing up with the expectation of getting something from them. Here are three key actions of the best conversationalists that will immediately draw others to you.

1. Be intensely curious.

As you meet someone new, it’s crucial to find something interesting about the other person, perhaps a fascinating fact or idea that you can follow up on with interesting questions of your own. This means activating the genuine curiosity within you.

Several studies suggest that curious people have better relationships, connect better, and enjoy socializing more. In fact, other people are more easily attracted and feel socially closer to individuals that display curiosity.

George Mason University psychologist Todd Kashdan, author of Curious?, states in Greater Good that “being interested is more important in cultivating a relationship and maintaining a relationship than being interesting; that’s what gets the dialogue going. It’s the secret juice of relationships.” 

2. Be a good listener.

Making a good impression is key to kick-start a conversation that works to your advantage, but beware of dominating the conversation early on.

Since people love to talk about themselves, be the one who lets the other person talk first. Why? Talking about ourselves triggers the same sensation of pleasure in the brain as food or money.

Harvard University neuroscientists found the reason: It feels so rewarding to the brain when people self-disclose in a conversation that they can’t help sharing their thoughts.

So, by saying little, listening intently, and allowing the other person to have his glory, you will make an excellent impression because people who are liked the most, ironically enough, are the ones who often say the least.

This is just a small sample of another great article that can be continued and the Inc. site

Ah this is fantastic too !

  1. What’s your story?
  2. What absolutely excites you right now? 
  3. What’s the most important thing I should know about you?
  4. What human emotion do you fear the most?
  5. If you could do anything you wanted tonight (anywhere, for any amount of money), what would you do and why?
  6. If you could know the absolute and total truth to one question, what question would you ask?
  7. When’s the last time you failed spectacularly at something?
  8. What do you value more, intelligence or common sense?
  9. What is the greatest lesson you have learned from one of your enemies?
  10. If you did not sleep, how would you spend the extra eight hours a day?
  11. If you had to pick the character from any book, movie, or TV show who is most similar to you, whom would you choose? Why?
  12. How different is your job today from what you wanted to do as a kid?

Lastly, whatever you do, avoid at all cost controversial or sensitive questions related to topics like politics, physical appearance or age, religion, and generally anything rated R.